Las Vegas impersonator

During my first trip to Las Vegas last weekend, I found the remote desert destination to be a lot like Australia’s capital city, Canberra. Why? Because of the remarkable propensity for strangers you meet to invariably end a conversation with the words “good luck”. Of course, this is so in Canberra because usually the stranger is someone you have pulled up beside on the street, and after rolling down your car window, asked for directions. The planned city of Canberra was designed using giant circular road structures, which, unsurprisingly, sees most of its visitors frustratedly driving around in circles, lost. Locals know this all too well, and being such a friendly bunch, it is customary for them to end their long list of “go straight until you reach a small hill”, “take the third exit off the roundabout” and “if you reach Parliament House, you’ve gone to far” with a hearty “good luck!”. For they know, you’ll never make it. Needless to say, in Vegas people wish you luck because they assume at some point during your stay you’ll gamble. After all, isn’t that what Las Vegas is all about? I’ll admit, I wanted to get into the Las Vegas spirit as much as any first-time tourist there. The sad thing was, I couldn’t seem to find it. It’s not that I didn’t know what to expect. Robert De Niro’s character in the 1995 hit movie Casino, Ace Rothstein, had made it clear*. But I guess I was still secretly hoping for a little of the Vegas immortalized on cinema screens in the 1950s and 60s films. A glitzy, sexy Vegas; a slightly dangerous one. That Vegas no longer exists. Today’s Las Vegas attracts international tourists and bucks-party bachelors, sure. But from what I could tell, the vast majority of punters were middle-American families, ticking off another must-see destination on their list. Grand Canyon? Check. Disneyland? Check. Yellowstone National Park? Check. Vegas? Ding, ding ding! Although disappointed by the en masse, pedestrian atmosphere and averse to gambling as I am, this didn’t stop me from taking my brief turn at the roulette table. My visiting Australian friend and I partnered up to apply what she called a “no-lose strategy”. We would bet the minimum ($10) on either black or red and stick to that color. If we won, we would take the winnings and bet the minimum again. If we lost, we’d double our bet, stick to the same color and trust the laws of statistics to help us make our money back. The strategy worked. Little by little, we made our winnings. When we lost, we doubled and tried again. When we lost a second time, we hesitantly doubled that bet, and voila! Our courage was rewarded. Halfway through, we switched from black to red. Our pile of chips continued to grow, slowly. And when we reached about $120, I was done. Watching a young man at our table effortlessly amass a mountain of purple chips, and then unblinkingly lose them, made me realize: if we wanted to win big, we’d have to bet big. But to bet big, I’d have to be willing to lose big, and I wasn’t. Splitting our winnings, I used mine to consider the lavish dinner we’d earlier enjoyed as paid for by the casino. And speaking of all things big, that dinner had featured some of the biggest steaks I have ever seen served in civil society. Giant steak? Check. Could somebody please pass the antacid? *“Today it looks like Disneyland. And while the kids play cardboard pirates, Mommy and Daddy drop the house payments and Junior's college money on the poker slots. In the old days, dealers knew your name, what you drank, what you played. Today, it's like checkin' into an airport.” – Sam ‘Ace’ Rothstein, Casino.